


the clock hands keep pointing to you

by shetea



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-16 22:19:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16962540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shetea/pseuds/shetea
Summary: in which jooheon confessed and got rejected. but that was a year ago.





	the clock hands keep pointing to you

**Author's Note:**

> i wanted to write something short and sweet. title from jooheon's masterpiece, in time. enjoy!

Jooheon sighs for the nth time in that evening. He has been studying, or pretending to do so for hours. When he came with Changkyun to the library two hours ago, Jooheon had planned to stay an hour or so then leave. But that was then, before he saw Hyungwon sitting to a table by the corner, head buried in one of his huge law books. Changkyun saw him and sighed and Jooheon didn’t dare look to see the disappointment in his eyes.

"Honey, we should go home now." Changkyun says, quietly.

Hyungwon hears him and lifts his head.

"You guys are going home already?" he asks. He's frowning and Jooheon wants to smooth these lines with his hand. He looks at Changkyun instead.

"Yes I’m tired and Kihyun doesn’t want to go alone." he says.

Kihyun left the hall a few minutes ago. He spends a lot of time at the library but he likes to go home for dinner. He usually cooks for his flatmates, Jooheon and Changkyun too.

Kihyun's probably one of the kindest people Jooheon has ever met. Jooheon and Changkyun needed another flatmate and Changkyun knew someone who knew someone who was looking for a flat. Now, Jooheon is glad they share a place with Kihyun and not anybody else. Not only is Kihyun the perfect flatmate: he's neat, he cooks and he isn’t usually loud, but he also introduced them to Hyungwon.

"I need to finish this task before I go home." Jooheon nodded at his computer. He is lying through his teeth and Changkyun knows it. He has been writing and rewriting one line of code for the past half an hour and it isn’t even anything important, just an exercise.

Changkyun thankfully doesn’t out him, just gives him a subtle glare.

"Just go without me." Jooheon dismiss him with a wave of his hand.

"You're going to walk alone in the dark?"

"I'll take the bus, Changkyun."

"You'll have to walk to the bus stop alone."

"I'll walk with him." Hyungwon says out of the blue, reminding them that he is still there, listening to their conversation, "We live on the same street, you know."

When Jooheon met Hyungwon at first they never shared more than greetings when Kihyun had his friends over, Hyungwon and another guy who is louder than Kihyun but also very kind. But the more time they saw each other the more they started to talk. Hyungwon wasn’t the type to quickly open up to strangers, Jooheon figured. But Jooheon was always polite and he had a cute face and dimples, which in his opinion made him adorable and non-threatening. So he found himself easily getting closer to him.

Changkyun looks at Hyungwon, "Whatever you want then." he shrugs, "Good night, Hyungwon." then he turns to Jooheon, narrowing his eyes.

"Don't stay out too late." He says. What Jooheon hears is _don’t do anything stupid_.

“Don’t worry.”

When Changkyun walks away, Jooheon turns to Hyungwon only to find him back with his nose in his huge book.

Jooheon wonders if he should say something but decides against it quickly. Hyungwon probably has a lot to study for and won’t appreciate the distraction. With a sigh, he turns back to his laptop.

The first time Jooheon and Hyungwon hang out together just the two of them was impromptu. They had met in the library, like today. Jooheon sat to Hyungwon’s table and kept to himself until Hyungwon asked him if he wanted to go get some coffee. So they went together and had a lovely time. At least that’s what Jooheon hoped. It felt so much like a first date to him; the easy conversation, the jokes, the compliments generously thrown to each other every now and then, and he found himself falling for Hyungwon from that day.

That was almost two years ago.

Now, they're keeping to themselves, each doing his work in silence, for almost two more hours. They don’t say anything to each other but Jooheon is used to it by now. It's mostly his fault too.

It’s not like they aren’t good friends anymore. But months ago, sometime in February, Jooheon decided to tell Hyungwon how he felt for him. He's liked him for over a year and he wanted to tell him. He didn’t exactly plan to confess right then and there, it just felt right.

It was anything but right, though. Jooheon just said something like _I like you, do you want to go out with me_ , and Hyungwon froze. Jooheon felt so dumb and terrible when Hyungwon told him he just broke up with his boyfriend not even a week ago. But he let him down gently, said he couldn’t get into a relationship so soon, he liked his former boyfriend, he didn’t want to use Jooheon as a rebound, he was so sorry. So Jooheon could do nothing but assure him it was alright, and apologize because he was unthoughtful and didn’t know Hyungwon was going through a breakup. He felt even worse when he went home and couldn’t hide the sadness. He spilled everything to his flatmates. That was when Kihyun told him Hyungwon was dating Minhyuk, they had been together for over a year before Minhyuk fell out of love. They had a quiet breakup, no drama of grudges held but Hyungwon took the harder hit. It made Jooheon feel that much more terrible. How didn’t he notice? He saw them together countless times, he sat with them in the same room, they even shared meals together and Jooheon was so oblivious to it all. His heart hurt, for Hyungwon more than himself.

Afterwards, Jooheon has been trying to go on date. He didn’t want to burden Hyungwon with his feelings, still doesn’t want to do so even almost a year later. He still goes on meaningless dates. Sits through them and laughs and flirts but nothing ever compared to the first time he went out with Hyungwon. Still, he pretends he moved on, that his feelings for Hyungwon just faded because of rejection. Hyungwon seemed to believe it, being more comfortable and spontaneous around him day by day instead of carefully planning his words and moves as to not make it uncomfortable for Jooheon.

Hyungwon, on his part haven’t been on any date since the breakup. Jooheon knows because Kihyun tells him. Somewhere, deep down in Jooheon’s heart, he's still holding into hope. Someday, maybe, Hyungwon’s heart would mend itself. And when his heart is free, Jooheon will go to him again, offer his own heart. Please let me love you, he would say. Maybe then Hyungwon will let him in.

But that day seems so far away that sometimes Jooheon can’t see it. Can’t even imagine it.

"Do you still want to stay, Honey?" Hyungwon’s voice, soft and quiet, pulls Jooheon from his thoughts.

He realizes he's been staring at the dark screen of his laptop without moving. He is ready to go home and tells Hyungwon so.

"Me too," he sighs, "it's probably freezing outside let's just go."

It's a quiet winter night. At almost eleven at night, the streets are empty except for some students heading towards the bus stop. Jooheon and Hyungwon walk in silence. Jooheon itches to break it, but he doesn’t dare to.

They have to wait twenty minutes for the next bus. Hyungwon groans and hangs his hair down. His hair falling on his face. For a second Jooheon thinks about reach out and pushing his hair away. But he stops himself.

"Should we just walk home?" he offers, "At least we'll feel warmer when we move."

Hyungwon considers it for a minute before he sighs in defeat. It's so cute it makes Jooheon smile fondly.

"Let's go."

They walk in silence again for a while. It's not uncomfortable, but Jooheon wants to break it, to reach out, to be closer to Hyungwon.

At the end, it's Hyungwon who speaks first.

"So," he says. When Jooheon looks at him, he finds him looking forward. With the earmuffs, the coat hood and his long fringe, Jooheon can only see his nose and lips from the side. He looks adorable. He looks so adorable it makes Jooheon’s heart warm even when the temperature around him is probably below zero.

Jooheon finally brings himself to look away too, "So what?"

"It's been a while since we did this."

He doesn’t say anything more but Jooheon knows what he meant. The last time they did this, walk together at night that is, was almost a year ago. Jooheon feels his chest tightening at the memory.

"Yeah, I’m sorry."

"What are you sorry about?"

"I don’t know," Jooheon waves his hand around, "About what I said, I guess. I burdened you." he's nervous. He's so nervous, just like he was then, fiddling with his hands, trying to put all his feelings into words.

Hyungwon shakes his head, "You never burdened me. You don't need to apologize for anything. I just said that because I actually missed walking around with you."

Jooheon’s heart soars. He missed this too, missed Hyungwon, still misses him.

"Me too." he says.

They take a few silent steps before Hyungwon speaks again.

"There's something I want to ask. But," he inhales, "It's probably not the time, but-"

"Just speak, Hyungwon. You don’t have to be so awkward with me." Jooheon chuckles even though it hurts him.

"It's not that. I just don’t want _you_ to feel uncomfortable."

"You'll never make me uncomfortable." Jooheon winces immediately after he says it.

It is the truth, though. Even after this time, his feelings are still strong. He regrets saying what he said that night. If he had kept his mouth shut, Hyungwon wouldn’t struggle to find words to say to him right now.

"About what you said that time," Hyungwon says as if he was reading Jooheon’s mind, "Did you mean it, then?"

If his heart wasn’t hurting, Jooheon would've laughed, "I did." _I do_.

Hyungwon nods slowly. He's clearly thinking about his next words.

"Back then, I was just out of a long term relationship. You could say I was heartbroken so when you suddenly said that- said _that_ , I felt really bad. I didn’t want to break your heart. I was glad when I knew I didn't. I thought- I don’t know. I thought you were serious about me or something."

"What do you mean?" he doesn’t know what Hyungwon is talking about or what to think. But there’s twist in his guts and it makes him anxious.

"I mean; I was in a seriously relationship. At least that's what I thought. And it lasted for a while that I kinda forgot not everyone looks for serious dating. But you went on dates not long after that night and I was so relieved."

There's something bitter in Jooheon’s throat that he tries to swallow. Damn. Being rejected is one thing, and having the person you like feel so bad because of your feelings is another, very painful, thing. He never wanted to hear these words from Hyungwon.

"I’m sorry." it's all Jooheon can think of saying. He was sincerely remorseful.

"Stop saying sorry." Hyungwon gives him a playful slap on the arm. He quickly puts his hand back in his coat pocket. "I think the timing was off. If you said that now, I wouldn’t feel the same."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," he clears his throat, "If you asked me out today, I would've said yes."

Jooheon stops in his tracks and stares at Hyungwon. He didn’t hear right. There's no way Hyungwon said what Jooheon thinks he said.

"What's wrong?" Hyungwon asks, turning around to look at him. His face is open. There's no frown or lines. Just his pretty eyes looking at Jooheon under the street lights.

"You mean to say, if I ask you out right now. If I tell that I like you- _still_ like you. If I tell you that you would say yes? You would go on a date with me?"

"That's what I said." Hyungwon say easily.

"But why? You don’t even like me like that. Do you feel bad for me? Because I have been hopelessly in love with you for two years?"

Hyungwon looks at him owlishly. "What are you saying? I know you don’t like me anymore."

For some reason, that sentence angers Jooheon.

"How do you know? Did you look inside my heart? I only went on dates and acted like I moved on because I didn’t want you to feel bad about me and blame yourself. Who do you think I am? I’m not that easy. I haven’t even liked anyone else since I met you."

"I’m sorry, Jooheon. I don’t think you're easy or anything."

"But you think I’m a player. You think that I don’t love you, still."

"Do you?"

"Of course I do!" his voice echoes in the empty street.

"Let's date then."

"What?"

"I said let's date it. If you like me, and I like you, we should date already, shouldn’t we?" Hyungwon shrugs. His eyes still focused on Jooheon. He sounds confident this time.

"But you don’t like-"

"Did you look inside my heart?” he smiles, “Did you see this cute guy with the cutest dimples there?"

"Shut up." Jooheon says, bashful. He can barely believe what’s happening. The guy whom he’s been over for so long is asking him out, is saying he likes him back. God.

"So is that a yes?" Hyungwon smiles.

"I don’t know. You should kiss me first."

So Hyungwon does. In that cold night, he takes his hands out of his pockets and cups Jooheon’s face. His fingers are cold and so are his lips but they still set Jooheon’s entire body on fire.

*

Kihyun figures everything the second he see Jooheon. It's probably his kiss-swollen lips, or the happy glow that washes over him or just Kihyun being nosy. Either way he takes a look at Jooheon and smile before yelling at Changkyun.

"Changkyunnie come here. Our honey has a boyfriend."

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading~ i appreciate all kudos and comments. find me on [**twitter**](https://twitter.com/_shetea_) and [**cc**](http://curiouscat.me/shetea)!


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